User Testing and Proof Reading

Once I had finished a major Alpha build version of the visual novel, I sent a couple of copies to a few friends. I asked that they proof read and provide their thoughts on the scripting and overall experience so far. This would allow me to understand the perspective of someone who knows nothing about my story or visuals. One that would not expect what I can expect.

One of my reviewers does Historical Writing and another does Law.  The two of them gave a really constructive feedback on my visual novel build.

At first I did feel insulted to get such harsh, critical feedback from one of them, however the reality is that they know and understand what they're discussing. I took their opinions seriously and responded with such manner too. I began to visually see my errors along the way, correcting them to meet a professional standard and develop my scripting better.

Sakife’s review:
Pros: Art work is unique, good design, imaginative and creative. Story and lore was interesting as well as intriguing. Gameplay was satisfying. It was clearly a horror game, the atmosphere, the sounds, the music as well as the written dialog and personal thoughts were attention grabbing and drag the reader into this immerse plot.

Cons: Few writing errors, could improve grammar and some sentences.

Overall: This novel has great potential as well as being a great starting point. Interactions in the game was smooth. The artwork is beautiful and fun to go through, the game created a lot of tension and stress whilst i was playing it.


Jan’s review:

Improve the writing:
- Grammar: The thing is not fixable right now
- Unnecessary detail: 'the national road'
- Writing feels rigid: 'clothes absorb the water'
- Wearing and investigator's uniform, but still have to present a badge to officer
- What happened, he asked rhetorically
- News Tab, change 'counties' to 'oblasts'
- Exploring town, how can you differentiate between each building? Add lines where Zima notices their signs/ store windows.
- Message from officer, mechanic to pick 'it', say car instead.
- In town, write from present tense
- Romm 301 log abandoned for (10?) years, why is it still on. Add in text about charging it up, or taking out its disc.
- Patrol officer Arom? Never told you her name, strange for someone to introduce themselves through a text.
- Snap back to reality
- 'Volunteered to disappear'(edited)

But yeah, sound and controls are great.



The images below are my fellow user testers and proof readers who helped guide and shape my scripting to perfection.